Literature Obscura – A Kingly Sword

A Kingly Sword by Noor Al Shanti: 13/20.

A city lies in chaos. Lords gallop past, swinging bright swords, while gangs of shape-shifters pillage and burn. The smallfolk, banned from bearing weapons and using magic, are supposed to be under the protection of the aristocracy. But, bloated and indolent, the Lords now only care for themselves, leaving the commoners to survive as best they can.

A young girl risks her life, using banned magic to transport her dead family members to a place of safety; a green oasis, to save them from desecration. She weaves a spell to transport her brother, struck down and lying in the rubble – but at the last second, he opens his eyes. Horror-struck, she realises he is dying, not dead, and she has sent him to the green glade, alone.

Snatching up a shining weapon held in the fists of a slain Lordling – a Kingly Sword – she vows to find her brother before he dies.

This story starts full-pelt. The textures, sounds and smells of the ravaged city are communicated in elegant, clear writing, and right from the start, the young protagonist is engaging in her courage and defiance.

Then things fall apart a bit.

The story segues off in an unexpected direction: pretty soon, we aren’t reading about a sister’s quest to find and save her brother (this is resolved pretty quickly). And the sword itself does not figure significantly in the narrative. Instead, this becomes a story about a small cadre of townsfolk, afraid to return to the city in case they are prosecuted for using magic to defend themselves, who opt to go it alone. They build a small town, there’s a time-skip, some squabbling between young men and at the end, a political decision is made.

It is not intrinsically an issue when stories veer off the expected path. It’s generally refreshing to be surprised. But this is an unsatisfactory route to take. This is a novella, with limited space for characterisation, so it’s a shame we leave the company of our first protagonist in favour of less interesting figures.

While there are perils and dilemmas – this is a world riven by class, by inter-species war and by recent horrors – this work doesn’t quite feel complete. It’s almost like a prequel for a far larger, longer and more involved fantasy story; one where story arcs come to a conclusion and characters are fleshed out and challenged.

There are no issues with the writing style, aside for a few minor grammar errors here and there. Al Shanti is good at evoking a scene, whether it’s a shattered city or a hidden woodland settlement. And it’s likely she can draw engaging characters; the first few paragraphs are enough to hint that. It’s just that here, the characters don’t get an awful lot to do – or, at least, nothing that seems to weave together into a coherent storyline.

This isn’t the only work that has this problem: Al Shanti’s Traveller of the Circle is set in the same world, and is also more of a slice-of-time than a full story. Perhaps Al Shanti’s novellas are all pieces of a puzzle. A dedicated reader might seek them all out: it’s a world worth visiting, but it would be better if the stories stood alone.

Literature Obscura – Hyde’s Lament

Hyde’s Lament by LN Denison. 13/20

This is billed as a “dark novella” and, certainly, there isn’t much levity to it. We are plunged into a small, underground bunker, its inhabitants holding on to what power they have in a post-apocalyptic England.

Catherine Hyde, a young soldier, has survived the events of Only the Few, which saw she and her squad fighting for their lives to escape a cavern full of “cavers” – cannibalistic, transformed humans.

But Hyde hasn’t got away scot-free. She has somehow been infected with caver DNA, and is undergoing a painful transformation which threatens to strip away her mind, body and soul.

Fortunately, she has allies – but will they have the courage to defy the evil Consortium and the power-mad Judd, who is head of operations?

The writing here is sparse, as befits a SF horror with a military flavour. There are indications this is an indie here and there – Denison seems to have a problem with apostrophes, for instance. But the style isn’t bad, even if it isn’t particularly crisp or noteworthy.

As you would expect from the premise, this isn’t a gentle story. People are tortured (some deservedly, others less so), subjected to experiments, locked up, threatened with assault of various kinds and generally get treated like hell.

There’s a lot of shoving prisoners from one place to another, a lot of bags slipped over heads and a lot of anaesthetics administered. At first, the feeling is claustrophobic, but eventually the plot becomes a bit frustrating, almost as if, as a reader, the bag is being slipped over your head.

There is a lot that goes unspoken, a great many curt conversations that hint at conspiracy but don’t go anywhere, and a number of threats that are not carried out. That would be fine, if the exercise was to build up an atmosphere of oppression and horror, but the straightforward and sometimes bare-bones writing style precludes that.

This carries over to characterisation. Most of the characters are referred to, in grand spy,  or military-novel style, by their surnames. This can get confusing, especially as there are a lot of characters in the cast, many of them not well defined. You don’t get much of a sense of history with them, or dilemma. The baddies are needlessly brutal (why, if you are on the brink of extinction, would you treat your own men like crap? Judd, perhaps, is a malignant narcissist with no sense of self-preservation, but they can’t all be like that – universally brutal, rude to the people they depend on and with murky or undefined motives.

Likewise, the goodies suffer from underdevelopment. What happens to Catherine Hyde is definitely pretty horrible, and she is sympathetic because of that. But there’s little sense of differentiation between the characters. What do they want? Who were they before the bombs fell? What are their fears, their hopes? Understandably, all of them want to escape the hand of the military complex, but beyond that, there isn’t much interiority.

That might be because this is a follow-up, and much of this was established in the previous book, but there still needs to be more here.

The solution, when it comes, is almost too easy. I’m not going to say more, because of spoilers, but there should be a sense of nail-biting tension as a rag-tag gang of prisoners, amputees and half-transformed monsters try to break out of a secure bunker.

There are good ideas here, but they would resonate more if the story went deeper in almost every direction.

Literature Obscura Review: The Journey of Teddy and Marla

The Journey of Teddy and Marla by Godsteeth. 18/20.

This is a beautiful book.

Following a successful Kickstarter campaign, artist Godsteeth has pulled words and visual art into a unique creation.

Marla is a wanderer. She is lost. Teddy the kitten is lost, as well. They meet and journey together.

Brought to life through sparing sentences and stark, darkly beautiful illustrations, this is a picture story – but it isn’t for little kids. Not unless the kid in question is comfortable with ambiguity, silence and the concept of mortality.

Because I’m not at all sure Marla is travelling in our reality. Teddy, colossal within the book, was inspired by the artist’s childhood pet. The real Teddy didn’t live to adulthood. This loss obviously left its mark; this book is a kind of elegy to the short-lived kitten who was buried in a red sock – as though it was a sleeping bag.

Marla could literally be a lost soul, gliding through a black and white landscape where they are no shadows and “home” is somewhere else. She encounters Death, who is harried and curious rather than frightening. The landscape is otherworldly.

Teddy becomes her wordless companion as they search for a familiar place, sharing a journey without an end.

For all the hard, sketchy lines and blank whiteness, for all the wide spaces and solitude, this is a tender piece of work.

Teddy wreaks havoc (as a giant little kitten would). He purrs. He curls up and keeps Marla warm. In the end, perhaps Teddy is home.

I haven’t seen anything like this before, and I don’t think I will again.

The Journey of Teddy and Marla is not on Goodreads or Amazon. Find out more by reaching Godsteeth on Twitter

Eithe’s Way

Eithe’s Way, winner of the Shortlist Award and published by The Write Factor.

 

Eithe is a young woman uncertain of her place in life – even her name is an ambiguity bestowed upon her by a mother who fails to survive her disastrous birth.

Locked into a destructive and abusive relationship, Eithe – who is stronger than she knows – makes a momentous and life changing decision when she takes her fate into her own hands and escapes into an adventure of self-discovery.

Eithe’s Way has all the elements of a mystery thriller: it has cops and the ultimate robbers of our age; it has bad guys and quarry; it is thoroughly modern in its themes and nuances. Darkly humorous and at times brutal, this story of the transience and impermanence of life is written in an elegant style that takes us into the ‘other world’, where the veil between the living and the not quite dead is at its thinnest.

Available as an print version here and on Kindle here.

Ask Alloway!

Ask Alloway: Expert Advice for the Confuzled and Bamboozled

A self-help book for rats and humans.

Have you ever wondered where you should hide your food stash? Or what to do when your wife starts flirting with a squirrel? Wonder no more. Alloway is here to answer your questions. 

Warning: Alloway’s advice is often on the nose. Not suitable for young “hoomans” or little rattos.

Here is an interview with Alloway

Free to download from Lulu and Smashwords.

Print version available from Lulu and Amazon.

Reader reviews:

Pirats!

Pirats: A Tale of Mutiny on the High Seas.

Part Two of the Rat Tales Trilogy.

Rip the rat has been separated from her sisters. Pirates have taken over her ship. Worst of all, her new rat crew wants her to be their boss – and not everyone is happy about that.

Fortunately, she has two new pirat friends, Peg and Patch, and a young escaped slave called Abel to help her.

Pirats: A Tale of Mutiny On the High Seas is available through:

Kindle UK

Kindle US

Smashwords

Lulu e-version

Lulu print version

Amazon paperback

Available direct from the author via this author page (Note: This is the cheapest and best way to get a copy; proportionally more money goes to APOPO – particularly people ordering from the UK).

This book was written to support APOPO, an organisation that trains HeroRATs to safely clear minefields and to detect illnesses in humans. Approximately 50p (65c) from each sale goes to APOPO. To find out more about these amazing animals visit APOPO.

Ship Rats is free!

Ship Rats! A Tale of Heroism On the High Seas. An adventure book involving three furry, feisty sisters who end up all at sea!

Ship Rats is an animal fantasy adventure set in the 1700s. It is part of a trilogy charting the voyages of Lu, Rip and Preen, three young rats who end up as accidental stowaways on a Dutch freighter. They face storms, hostile ship rats, drunken sailors and more; and this is only the start of their voyage around the world…

This is the first book in the Rat Tales Trilogy.

Available on Kindle and through Amazon.co.uk (free)
Available on e-reader formats at Smashwords and Lulu for free.
Available in print at Lulu.
Available direct from the author via this author page (Note: This is the cheapest and best way to get a copy; proportionally more money goes to APOPO – particularly people ordering from the UK).

This book was written to support APOPO, an organisation that trains HeroRATs to safely clear minefields and to detect illnesses in humans. Approximately 50p (65c) from each sale goes to APOPO. To find out more about these amazing animals visit APOPO.

Literature Obscura Project

Good-quality indie publishing is not easy, despite what people might think. Would-be authors now have dozens of platforms to choose from when hosting their writing, but that’s only a tiny fraction of the process.

I self published for the first time this year. Ship Rats, a short children’s book, was published to raise funds for a really interesting land-mine clearing organisation. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly and I soon discovered the payoff between work and reward is highly unbalanced.

However, the technical and creative aspects of writing, while challenging, are features of publishing that are clearly under my control. The part I’ve struggled with most is self-promotion. It is EXTREMELY difficult to get uninvested strangers to read your book. Back in 2013, roughly 400,000 books were self-published in the US alone. Four years on, that number has gone up. Even if every one of those books was a polished, original, lyrical gem (and trust me, they aren’t), there are limits to the amount of time and money people are willing to spend sifting through potential purchases.

Of those readers, most will want a product they will trust, which is part of the reason traditionally published books still have an edge; they will have been vetted, edited and backed by a promoter.

User-driven review sites can be a godsend to indie authors. However, they muddy the waters somewhat as a star rating on an open page is not necessarily a guarantee of a good read. Writers who have published unprepared manuscripts can get as many five star ratings as better-quality authors because these systems reward effective self-promotion as much as, if not possibly more than, they do a well-written book.

Chances are you already know this if you are here. 

I will hold my hands up now and admit I’m guilty of discriminating against indie publications. I have read relatively few compared to the number of traditionally published books I have bought, borrowed or been given.

I’m going to remedy that. Originally named AIWAW (An Indie Work a Week) – but changed because no one knows what it stands for, the Literature Obscura reviews will look at an independently published (very small publisher or self-published) book on a regular basis. I will post a detailed review/critique on this blog. Reviews will be cross-posted on select sites. If it is absolutely bloody brilliant I will recommend it to my friends, possibly buy it for people as presents and maybe link to it in various reader groups.

If you’re interested in getting on board wit Literature Obscura, a select number of self-submitted books will be considered for the project. Click here to find out how to submit your work. I know there’s a long list of rules and considerations, but please make sure you read them before you submit.

I will also post links HERE to previous reviews to build up a little library of indie books. I have absolutely no illusions that this will make any change to the market, but at least dozens of authors will get a review they otherwise wouldn’t have.

So my challenge is to read and review at least 52 indie or self published works over the next year. Officially, the challenge started on July 5 2017 and will end on July 7 2017.

Here’s hoping I’ll find some real treasures

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Rest in Peace, Princess Priss

Priss died last night. It was sudden and we were there with her.

She was our last girl from the trio of ratties we first adopted more than two and a half years ago from RSPCA Salford.

She was a pain in the bum and we loved her. She was full of mischief, and had the softest fur imaginable. She outlived her sisters, Leeloo and Ripley by several months; she was over eighty in rat years.

Priss was a very clever ratty. She was curious but also, sometimes, very cautious. She inspired the character of Preen, the grey Ship Rat, who is shyer than her sisters, and also smart and affectionate.

When I started writing the books, Preen was a scaredy-rat. The first time we tried to handle her, she jumped out of out hands and nutted the fridge. She then ran under the freezer and it took a long time to persuade her to come back out. We thought we’d traumatised her forever, but she soon got over it.

A few weeks later, her inquisitiveness got her into trouble. She managed to break into out bathroom. The first we knew about it was the sound of silence (always suspicious) and then a faint splashing noise.

Priss loved her food and we often did pea-dipping with her (this is like apple-bobbing for rats). It turns out, she had learned to associate standing water with tasty treats and had jumped into the toilet.

I don’t think she found the kind of pea she was looking for.

Another time, she ate part of a very expensive couch. Because she was never actually there when we realised, we blamed her (slower) sisters for ripping the cushions to shreds. She showed no remorse upon sentencing to a week without treats.

Priss was very pretty. She won a ratty beauty pageant on a Facebook group once. It totally went to her head.

She also picked up tricks fast. Tempted with sunflower seeds and other treats, she would run through a hoop, walk on her back legs and spin on the spot.

I’ve always known rats were clever, but I was surprised when she started doing something odd. Instead of only performing on command, like many animals do – she made the link between “spin-spin” and treats. Whenever she felt like a snack, she took to running up to my feet and “spin-spinning” to request a treat. It normally worked.

She very patiently met with some of the young readers at Storyhouse at a “Rats and Writing” workshop.
Knowing how much she loved food, we tried to keep her weight down, but she still developed loose skin. When her new friends (Misty, Rose, Rey and Aeryn) arrived to help keep her company, she became their blanket, spreading out on top of them.

Her favourite activities were preening, eating, climbing things with her incredibly sharp fingernails and sitting on the other side of the room staring at us with her big brown eyes.

Snoozing

We will miss her very much.

Here is one of the last pictures of her, approving the front cover of Sea Rats, the final book in the Rat Tales Trilogy.

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Literature Obscura Review – Poisoned Silver

Poisoned Silver by Tristen Kozinski. 3* – 12/20.

 

Jura is a loner living on the fringes of a village. Something strange lurks in his bloodlines and it marks him as different. He can smell evil, and it is this which alerts him to the dangerous properties of an ancient stone sword pulled free from a purifying tree.

Knowing the mysterious sword has the power to corrupt, Jura embarks on a quest to remove this evil from the world forever. But sinister forces are on the move, corruption is spreading through the land and time is running out…

Poisoned Silver slips neatly into the classic high fantasy mode. The trope of hero-carries-evil-artefact is well trammelled, from Frodo in Lord of the Rings to the characters of Doomsword – a Point Fantasy book that this story bears some resemblance to. This is a short story, so in some ways, this trope is pared down to its essence.

The plot is fast-moving and wide-ranging as Jura travels from the isolated woodland to a coastal city plunged into chaos. The cast is sparse, and I’d like the characters to be a little more rounded (what gives Jura the courage to do good when he’s experienced precious little kindness in his life?) – but given the length of the story, it would be best to do this with a light touch. The tale is mercifully free of info-dumps.

The writing needs more refinement. There are numerous grammar errors, some close-homonym confusion (like “curtsey” rather than “courtesy”), and, here, an example of repetition and an embarrassing typo (“a soft humming that leavened tits hold and offered him sanctuary in the light: humming). Issues like this are forgivable in a first draft, but they really should be ironed out by the time the book is available for purchase.

Having said that, the prose isn’t bad. There are some elements that cry out for more detail (for instance, what does evil smell like, exactly?), but Kozinski does a decent job of bringing the fantasy world to life – especially when the Bandaged Man reveals his secrets. The spark of talent is there even if the editing is sub par.

Overall, this is a brisk, entertaining read. It isn’t startlingly original, but with a bit of work, it should appeal to fantasy readers who want a short, sharp fix.